Squidwards normal day
by brain-muncher
Summary: about squidward, spongebob, lumpy space princess and my own RL sister Ashlee ;)


Ashlee looked at Squidward romanticaly. Squidward gazed into her eyes. Ashlee reached in for some 'sexy times' "no i cant' squidward said shamefully "im pregnant with spongebob." "who said we will tell spongebob?" She replied with a naughty smile. "what if i get pregnant?' squidward replied tears being forced back. "then kill the baby" Ashlee replied being dumb and not knowing its impossible to get pregnant while you already are. "what about protection?" Squidward questioned. "what protection?" Ashlee asked. Squidward looked at his love, he remembered why he loves her, the way that she flips her hair gets him overwhelmed and when she smiles at the ground its easy to see squidward thinks, squidward thinks shes beautiful. The day that Squidward met Ashlee was wonderful. he came out of the court after his divorce with spongebob, proud he got child rights. it was so sunny and romantic, but squidward had noone to spend the romantic sunset with. he rubbed his lumpy belly, it was really lumpy, lumper than a normal pregnant belly, like biggeer than lumpy space princesses lumps. Squidward thought about lumpy space princess, his true love the perfect girl. then an overweight red headed girl ran up to him. "SQUIDWARD MARRY ME NOW!" she yelled at him. Squidward didnt care she reminded him of lumpy space princess because of her lumps."Okay' squidward repiled happily. now here they are 1 mounth later Ashlee with black hair, blaker then her soul, wich doesnt make sense because shes a ginger and has no soul, so technolauy her hair is darkwer then nothing. Ashlee collapsed on Squidward sleeping

in the morning Ashlee woke up to see Squidward making cofee. Squidward completely forgpt she was there until ashlee said "good morning." sqiudward looked at ashlee evily. "I know what you did on monday" Squidward said to her. "Today is Monday" Ashlee said sounding blonde. "LAST MONDAY!" Squidward yelled at her holding a gun pointing at her and blood dripping from his mouth. Ashlee licked the blood of Squidwards mouth sexualy. "NO!" squiward yelled at her "what?" ashlee replied trying to sound innocent. "YOU GOT SPONGEBOB PREGGOOOOOO!" Squidward yelled at her pulling his pink lollita dress off and threw it at Ashlee dramaticly."thats where my dress went' asahlee happily said. "DONT TRY TO GET OUT OF IT LSP!" squidward yelled at the nohing coloured haired girl. "WHAT DID DID YOU CALL ME?" ashlee yelled at him "call me mabye" he replied "I threw a wish in the well,Don't ask me, I'll never tell I looked to you as it fell, And now you're in my way" they both sung together. "wait a minute!' Ashlee stopped singing. "Dont try to get out of it!" "uh..." Squidward replied. "YOURE SECRECTLY DATING LSP!" ashlee yelled at him. "YES, BTW IVE ALREADY HAD SPONGEBOBS BABY IM PREGNANT WITH LSP!" suidward yelled at her shoving a tenticalled sponged that was deformed in her face . "ITS A BOY!" he yelled mocking ashlee. "KEEP IT YOU ALWAYS WANTED A BABY!" "SQUIDWARD O MY GLOB" lumpy space princess entered the room the atmosfaer suddonly got dark and smelled like teen spirit. "o MY GLOB I DO NOT SMELL LIKE A TEEN I AM MUTRE!" LSP yelled at the gases filling the room it suddenly smellt like adult spirit. Ashlee and Squidward stared at LSP confused. Squidward was so confused he dropped his baby on the ground and killed it blue blood went ewverywhere. Squidward didnt care, he was to absorbed in LSPs lumps. he then asked himself why do i love LSP? why do i love ashlee, both are fat purple lumpy things, they made me kill my precious. Squidward couldnt take it anymore he yelled at both the girls who were bickering at eachother at the time. "BOTH OF YOU I HATE YOU I TRULY LOVE SPONGEBOB HE TAUGHT ME THE JOYS OF LIFE BUBBLES JELLY FISHING JELLY JELLY JELLY FISHING HE ADDED ME TO THE CLUB WHEN I GOT KICKED OUT OF MY OTHER ONE!" his tears exploded out his eyes. liturally his eyes exploded. here was lots of blood everywhere Squidward didnt care he continued yelling "YOU GIRLS JUST COMPLAIN AND IM GOING TO HAVE AN ABORTION BECAUSE LSPS BABY WILL BE UGLY SPONGEBOBS BABY AND MINE WAS BEAUTIFUL" he looked sdown at his deformed baby covered in his own blood. he picked i up looking in is eyes. "LEAVE NOW!' he yelled at the lumpy girls who became a cute couple during squidwards breakdown. they ran out of his house skipping. Squidward looked at his baby again, he would cry but had no eyes to cry out of. he had a brilliant idea he quickely sewed his eyes back on then got some blood and shoved it down the babys trought, it feelt good to do this so he did that untill there was not blood, he house was spotless. he looked at the blood filled sponge squid thing. "i wonder what you taste like." he said with a twich of his legs. he then swolled the baby whole then twitched again.'yum" he said. "MORE" he yelled he ripped a half devoloped baby out his stomac as he was about to eat it but then spongebob came in "OH NO!" spongebob screamed squidward crawled up to spongebob leaving the baby behind. "I WANT YPU!" he says in a creepy voice he then makes out with spongebob. spongebob didnt mind he secretly wanted squidward too. then Squidward kissed spongebob to hard and ate him. "NOOO IMA MONSTER!" he yells looking at his reflecion on the shiny floor. he looke over at the lump squid baby still laying there he slowly crawled to the baby. "do you love me?" he asked the baby. no reply. "DONT YOU LIKE ME?" he yelled at the baby. it was silent for a second. "YOU LOUD MOTH NO BAD WORDS IN MY HOUSE!' squidward yelled then ate the baby. "much better" he happily said. Ashlee then entered the room. "IM PREGNANT!' she yells with a sob "i dont know what ro do anymore" "we will raise the baby together" squidwar sweetly says while rubbing ashlees belly, snapping out of the creepyness. "i love you forever and always" he then smiled and cuddled her. "no matter whoose baby it is" "its LSPs" ashlee replied. "WHAT?!" Squidward yelled at her "no!" he then stabbed her into millions of pieces and had her for breakfast the next day like a sludge monster would eat a human. he was now on a mission to eat LSP he ran up to her and cut her lumps of one by one blood went everywhere "OH MY GLOB!" was her last words he then ate her. he ran back to his tiki house everyone in he story was gone but him. his life was so wrong. he grabbed a gun and shot himself. now there are no charectors left in the story so i guess

THE END


End file.
